I have been helping out as a Mediator Volunteer at the Family Court for some years now. Today I went in for the afternoon session for the first time. I met up with the Master Mediator for lunch. At age 60 she walks with a limp due to operations done to both her knee- caps a few years back. Her affliction started even before she turned 30. It was no ordinary arthritis ailment she was suffering from and to-date the doctor could not pinpoint the causes. Painfully, she had to give up her teaching career; a profession she was & still is passionate about. But she is undaunted and despite the physical pains she had to put up, she went on to help out as a community mediator volunteer and currently attached to SMC & Subordinate Court. Many years later her contribution was recognized and she was conferred the Justice of Peace title. When we interacted I caught no hint of regret whatsoever. To her it was a natural thing to do – helping people who are entangled in relational conflicts to get out of the mess and move on.
After lunch the courtroom waiting area was filled with grievous parties. I put on my mediator `hat’ and called in the 1st couple. It was another emotional case of default in maintenance payment. The female client was shedding tears most of the time. She had to excuse herself for fear of being ridiculed by her ex-spouse. When she returned to the room, I decided to call for a caucus. When we were alone, she came near me and showed me the scars on her body. She is a cancer patient in remission. She was also a victim of physical abuse before her divorce. She suffered great anguish when she found the man she loved since age 18, in bed with their maid. And she was devastated when her ex-spouse turned around and blamed her for being old and not able to gratify his sexual needs. Even today she is living in fear as her ex-spouse is fighting for greater access to their children, one of whom is a teenage girl. To her, he is capable of doing anything. I felt rather uncomfortable when she disclosed that he is the leader of a secret society here.
For a while I was overwhelmed with the many issues involved in this case. The main issue of default in payment was resolved ultimately. I felt led to follow up with her after she talked about her suicidal tendency. So the first time since ECTA & FC jointly approved my practicum at FC, I short-listed a case for counseling follow-up. I made it clear to the client that my counseling offer is not mandatory but optional. She sounded grateful and appreciative when I called her in the evening to enquire about her. I hope to meet up with her early next week.
