Sexual Addiction

Artwork (c)2006, www.psychotherapy.net


I was updated from the outset on some latest (and insightful) statistics on the sex industry: That it is the 3rd largest economic sector on the internet. There are more than 100,000 pornography Web sites and 200 new ones introduced daily! Most pornography is downloaded between 9 and 5 pm which makes this a corporate problem!

38% of sex addicts struggle with an eating disorder and 40% of sex addicts are women. 42% of sex addicts have a problem with chemical dependency. Many ‘sex addicts’ or ‘sex anorexics’ get treated under bi-polar disorder, or OCD. 17% of sex addicts have attempted suicide; 72% have thought of it.

Some new inputs I gathered during the symposium included the following:

- Addiction is chronic: The disease can be arrested, but not cured. Recovery requires both abstinence from the mood-altering substance and involvement in a lifelong process of growth and healing.

- Extreme Control of one’s life can be an addiction: Dieting, Sex Avoidance, Alcohol Avoidance, Saving, Hoarding, Risk Aversion, Compulsive Athleticism are some examples.

Within the addictive system, sexual experience becomes the reason for being – the primary relationship for the addict. The sexual experience is the source of nurturing, focus of energy, and the origin of excitement.. the remedy for pain and anxiety, the reward for success, and means for maintaining emotional balance.

The Addiction Cycle involves Preoccupation (Mental obsession), Ritualization (Triggers), Compulsive Sexual Behaviour and Despair (Guilt).

The Core Beliefs of a Sexual Addict (Carnes, 2001) is:

- I am basically a bad, unworthy person.
- No one would love me as I am.
- My needs are never going to be met if I have to depend upon others.
- Sex is my most important need.

There are 3 levels of sexual addiction:

Level 1 - Behaviours that are regarded as normal, acceptable or tolerable e.g. masturbation, pornography, prostitution
Level 2 - Behaviours which are clearly victimizing and for which legal sanctions are enforced e.g. voyeurism.

Level 3 – Behaviours which have grave consequences for the victims and legal consequences e.g. incest, rape.

(All levels of sexual addiction are painful.)

Cybersex – The triple engine (Cooper, 1998) - Accessibility, Affordability & Anonymity

Impaired thinking - ‘The Internet helps to broaden my sexual horizons.’ ‘Cybersex is just electrons; it’s not real.’

There are recreational users, at-risk users and sexual compulsive users.

Sexual Anorexia –

There is a tremendous fear of intimacy. Many sexual anorexics come from rigid homes, judgmental and non-affectionate parents.

Treatment –

In working the Steps and going through a treatment process addicts first tend to deny, then comply, then gain intellectual acceptance, and finally arrive at emotional acceptance.

The S-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of the relatives and friends of sexually addicted people who share their experience, strength and hope in order to solve their common problems. The program of recovery is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and is based on the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions.

Sexaholism is an addiction just like any other addiction – with the same elements of loss of control, tendency to continue the damaging behaviour despite negative consequences, and the need to do more of the behaviour to get the same result.

(Extracted from S-Anon Int’l Family Groups.)