Journeying thru ECTA 06

Responses to CRP questionnaire

My clients of a mix of Chinese, Malay & Indian are mainly local but I do see immigrants from Malaysia, China, Taiwan, Indonesia, Philippines & India.
They are mainly from lower income group & are lowly educated. During counseling, English & mandarin are the main languages used. My clients are from different religious background. Most times I see couples and occasionally minors.

Some men I see strongly believe that wives are to be domesticated and accept whatever the former can provide. They abuse their right as master of the home in the way they order their wives around. There are some who expect & insist that their working wives contribute equally towards family expenses. Often I encounter men who think that they have every right to ‘discipline’ their spouses/sisters/daughters by inflicting pain on them. They believe that the solution lies within their `fists’.

It is also common to find Muslim men exercising their right under the Muslim law to set up new family despite a struggling financial outlook. Another issue I deal with involves pathetic Indian women who will not call it quit despite being victimized by their spouses.

The more unique issues include local men who view and treat their foreign wives strictly as domestic helpers/care providers and pay them a nominal wage to take care of the elderly/invalid parents or young nephews and nieces. They neglect their function as husbands, i.e., not meeting the sexual need of their so-called wives. On the other hand, there are foreign women who use marriage as the means to attain PR status in Spore. Also, Taiwanese women abuse their right to `direct access’ of their husband’s paycheck. And men who passively endure violence inflicted on them by their partners.

Counselling per se is not looked upon keenly in the local context as only people who are perceived as ‘dysfunctional’ need help. As clients in Singapore are very time-conscious & BUSY people, the important factor that determines the kind of models to use will be that of TIME. SFBT can be brief and solution-focused; it seems to work on most of the clients I see.

There is also the gender issue of male clients preferring not to go back in time to address the painful past - They are more passive and less in touch with their feelings. They may also be selective in sharing their personal concerns.

The use of `hot-seat’ fantasy technique to help clients express their feelings where there is unfinished business may not be favoured by the more `conservative & traditional’ clients as unleashing negative emotions towards the deceased is considered a taboo.

MFT encourages the therapist to look into the Family of Origin to examine the interlocking relationships. This can present itself negatively as in-laws or family members may not be forthcoming when it comes to talking about sensitive & conflicting issues, esp to strangers. This has to do with the `face’ issue.

For me, the difficulties I encounter counseling culturally-different client will be to stay sensitive & working on interventions that are congruent with their values. Very often, I see Indian wives who have no courage to put a stop to their spouses’ acts of violence esp after many drinks. (Drinking seems to be an issue for the Indian men.) The more traditional Indian wives who treat their husbands as if they are gods, will suffer in silence for years before they seek protection from the court to deter them. Divorce is the last thing on their mind. The act of walking out of their husband is unpardonable in the eyes of their family of origin. It will be unwise of me to advise the wives to leave the husbands knowing they are in danger of being ostracized by family & community. In such cases, remaining sensitive and working on interventions that are congruent with the values of the wives can be a challenge.

It may help to confess to the clients of my ignorance of their culture and to request for their understanding and time for me to learn from them as the counselling session goes.
By considering the social & cultural context of clients, I learn to appreciate the nature of clients’ struggles. I will be better able to give unconditional positive regard and remain non-judgmental through out. And hopefully, the clients will be more open and co-operative during the change process.

I suppose acquiring an inquisitive mind about the different culture inherent in the Spore society will help me to broaden my perspective. Reading articles & books on multicultural counselling will also provide me with greater insights. Last but not least, having the courage as well as humility to take on clients with different culture will certainly strengthen my multi-counselling competency in the long run.

Final Exam

The Clinical Director of ECTA met up with the graduate diploma students and briefed us on the Final Exam. Personally I felt that she did a fine job because I came away feeling rather re-assured. Incidentally, in my experience as a student of ECTA, I observe that all my concerns have been addressed to in the timeliest manner.

I have good words to say about the administrative staffs too, notably Audrey and Terra. They are about the coolest people I have met. They have contributed their professional, warm, sincere and unfailing support to facilitate my learning.

The week leading to the Final Exam was a tough patch in my life. Mid-way through the preparation, I received the bad news that an older sister of mine and her family have come under spiritual attack. They were getting disturbances in the night and my sister was not eating and sleeping well. The next day I received a call from another sister informing me of the medical finding of a breast lump. My mind threatened to go into disarray. I had to consciously and with great effort stay focus on the exam preparation at hand. Thankfully and by God’s grace, I managed to get some revision done.

Now that exam is over and course is coming to a closure, I am glad I can devote some time for my two sons whose O & A levels are round the corner. What I have gone through in the last 5.5 months has in effect helped equip me to cope better with the demands and unpredictability of life.

We will be told the result of the Final Exam this coming Sat during the Course Review/Closure session at the East Coast Training Centre. I do hope all of us will sail through and head for the next level of learning. By now, I am prepared to take up the Master level. I believe the 12-month program will do me much good as I go deeper into the subject. I hope to continue clocking my practicum at the Family Court and if possible, to provide counseling support at the Women’s Prison.