Self-therapy using CBT

'What lies at the bottom of the ocean and shakes all over?’ A nervous wreck! Yes, that was me confronted with fear of public speaking. This is a common phobia among my contacts and reportedly the no.1 fear in the American society. Whenever we are thrown into the situation to speak up, very few of us are brave enough to do so. Although my work does not require me to address a large group but I am expected to lead in a small group from time to time.

When I was younger, I used to tremble whenever I spoke in a large setting. I am more composed now but I am still plagued by internal discord just before I open my mouth to speak. My thoughts would also become jumbled somewhat. The CBT specialization has helped me address the fear. I think I am worried about making mistakes. I want to give a perfect speech or deliver a perfect performance. I may have even harbored a mistaken thought that I have to get everyone in the audience to approve of me.


But I think I am wrong. I realize now as I type, my audience doesn’t expect perfection. I think they want something of value. If they walk away feeling better about themselves or feeling happy or entertained, they will consider their time worthwhile. The operative word is GIVE not GET. (Not to get respect, approval, fame, client… but to give of myself.) The truth is also someone in the audience is going to disapprove of either me or my argument. I need to recognize that in a large group, there will always be a diversity of opinions, judgments, and reactions. I have learnt that the best way to succeed is to give myself permission to be myself in front of other people. And that includes being silly or do anything else that feels natural in the moment. The key is to be humble and if possible, humorous too.